You're on the Air
by kaitouahiru
Summary: "And I said nothing about aliens. I said it was a robot head," One simple mistake that Dean makes on his talk show about what Castiel had said on his own results in an argument between the two- on the air.
1. Chapter 1

So you're probably not allowed to cuss on the radio but because it will make this story more interesting, there shall be cussing.

Disclaimer: I don't own Supernatural or Stonehenge Apocalypse.

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><p>"<em>We're here because… we believe in the strange, the unknown, the unthinkable… we're here because we <em>want _to know the _real_ story. I'm Castiel Novak and you're listening to the real story. Let's start off with robot heads. The government found one on the moon and why weren't we told this? Well, because our government decided to classify it as a big secret,"_

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><p>"<em>Hey, you're on the air with Dean Winchester. I think I'm supposed to say that. Gets me my pay. So, anyways, I'm Dean. You should know who I am and if you don't, what rock have you been living under? Anyways, I was riding in my baby yesterday- not that kind of riding, you pervs. My 1967 Chevy Impala, sweetest car you've ever come across- anyways, I'm flipping through radio channels and I come across this one dude. Deep, dark voice, gravelly… the kind of dude you'd expect to be on the radio.<em>

_So anyways, he's talking and he's talking and I'm wondering what the hell this guy's deal is. He's going on and on about all this extraterrestrial shit and I pull up to a red light and he says, 'May God bless you.' I mean no offense to the believers, but who talks about aliens and then goes onto God? And the dude's name- Cassiel or some shit like that. Did you parents hate you or something, Cas? Oh, and that's about all the time we've got unless Jo's waving at me to ask me out. Oh, she's giving me the stink eye. See you this time tomorrow night... or not,"_

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><p>Dean grinned and hit the button that pulled him off the air.<p>

"Good show," Jo praised. "What was up with the alien-God stuff? Made up?"

"Would I lie to my listeners?" Dean asked and Jo just gave him a look. "Yeah, I so would. I heard the dude on the radio. Way the dude talks, I'd bet he lives in a mental hospital or getting pretty damned close to one."

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><p>"Dude, listen to this," Jimmy said, slamming a recording device on the table. His twin looked up from the newspaper.<p>

"I'm not listening to Bon Jovi again. I still want those three minutes of my life back," Castiel said. Jimmy gave his brother an impatient look.

"Just listen- and Bon Jovi's not taking any time off your life," Jimmy said.

"The three minutes he stole say otherwise," Castiel said and Jimmy glared at him as he put the earphones on. Castiel batted his twin's hands away, putting on the earphones himself. Jimmy watched his twin carefully.

"He said my name wrong," Castiel frowned. "And I said nothing about aliens."

"Yes you did," Jimmy said.

"No, I said it was a _robot head_," Castiel said. "Besides, it's not my fault if people believe that I actually believe this stuff and I'm not just doing this to get paid." Jimmy slouched in his chair and sighed, thanking the waitress as she put the food Castiel had ordered for them on the table. Castiel picked up his burger and bit into it happily. Jimmy rolled his eyes and snagged a fry from his brother's plate.

"Are you still listening to that guy?" Jimmy asked.

"He said I talked about aliens," Castiel pouted. Jimmy rolled his eyes and stuffed a fry into Castiel's mouth.

"Just get him back later tonight," Jimmy said.

Dean didn't realize he left the radio station on the talk show he'd been listening to the other night- the real story or something like that. He was driving home from a fast food restaurant when he heard Castiel's voice.

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><p>"<em>Hello, you're on the air with <em>Castiel,_"_ Dean smiled. It sounded like the guy was enunciating his name. _"That's Castiel. It has come to my attention that another DJ has heard some of my mindless ranting. Thank you for taking the time to listen to my show, Dean. I just have a few issues to pick out with your seminar._

_My name is Cas_tiel_. Not Cas_siel_. Two different angels. My father didn't hate me. I don't even know if he stuck around long enough for my brother and I to be named. And I said nothing about aliens. I said it was a _robot head_. If you're going to make fun of my name and my show, do it properly. And really, what's the point of listening if you don't like it? It's like that weird fanfiction site teenage girls keep going on and what is it they say… if you don't like, then don't read. Same rule applies, although I think you'd be listening rather than reading. I really hope you're listening to this, Mr. Dean Winchester. I'd try messing up _your _name but it's so simple I'd look stupid. Now let's get back to the show." _

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><p>Dean stared at his radio in disbelief and then he spilt his coffee when he heard a car horn blaring before he realized that the red light had turned green.<p>

"Shit!" Dean cursed.

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><p>"I was kidding you know," Jimmy said.<p>

"About what?" Castiel asked.

"About getting that guy back," Jimmy said.

"He said I talked about aliens. It was a _robot head_!"

"Are you sure you don't believe what you're getting paid to say?" Jimmy frowned. "You sound like you're starting to believe." Castiel gave his twin a look.

"Yes, I totally believe everything my work gives me. Now I'm going to go join a cult and shave my head after I take a shower," Castiel said.

"Cas, you're joking right? Cas?" Jimmy asked. "Cas, that's not funny! I'm not sure if you're joking or not!"


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I don't own Supernatural, Inherit the Wind, Stonehenge Apocalypse, or the quotes. Basically, I own nothing.

Thanks kyatariina, Fallen4Cas, Manifestation of a Storyteller, Aelan010, Toast Dunham, akuma-river, Anastasya24, Into The Firey Night, Mithya Aviana Cailin, hamithehamister, supreme dramon, and  
>Eminnis for reviewing the last chapter!<p>

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><p>"<em>Hey, you're listening to Dean Winchester. If you're here to listen, great. Why? Don't you have anything better with your life? If you're about to leave, stay and listen. Maybe this will help you get a life. Or not. Your choice. So Castiel, yeah, I listened to your show last night. Apparently I never changed the station from when I listened to it last. So maybe you're listening to this, which you probably are, I mean, who can resist me? I'm awesome.<em>

_But anyways, sorry about the name mix up, Cas. I was what, one letter off? And the angel of Thursday, huh? Your mom super religious or something? How do you go around saying 'God' on the radio? That's got to be a barren source of amusement for somebody in your family. (1)_

_And robot head? Really? Dude, aliens, robot heads, so what? And if you're such a science geek, how do you even believe in God anyways? And before I run out of time and actually have to go back to the right topic- you read _fanfiction_?"_

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><p>"You sure you want to be doing this, Dean?" Sam asked.<p>

"Doing what, Sammy?" Dean asked, with a mouthful of cheeseburger. Sam winced, looking away from the disgusting sight his brother made.

"Picking a fight with this Cas guy," Sam said.

"Hey, the ratings have gone up," Dean shrugged. "People love a good fight." Sam sighed.

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><p>"<em>Hello, viewers. I have a short message before we get to our usual program. Hello, Dean. I didn't sit down and listen to your show. My twin brother recorded it for me. I'm not going to reveal my religious preferences on the radio. And as for my name, maybe my parents just liked the name. My brother got stuck with the normal name. Jimmy. And if the 'God' thing is such a 'barren source of amusement,' does that make me Drummond? Since you're using Drummond's, I'll use Hornbeck's- ladies and gentlemen, he's the only man I know who can strut while sitting down.<em>

_There's a very big difference between a robot head and an alien. I'm not crazy. I never said anything about aliens. That'd just be stupid. I have read _one _fanfiction and it was pie… I never finished it. My brother is giving me a weird look. Hi, Jimmy! Want to come say hi to the people who are listening to me on the radio? No? What? Is that Claire? Why is Claire here? I wasn't supposed to babysit today. I was supposed to babysit Friday… oh… it is Friday, isn't it?"_

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><p>"Thank you for coming to get her," Jimmy huffed. "You were supposed to get her before you left for work." Castiel took his two year old niece into his arms as an apology.<p>

"Sorry," Castiel said. "Where are you going again?"

"To meet Gabriel's lawyer for him," Jimmy sighed.

"Huh. Gabriel land himself in jail again?" Castiel asked.

"Almost. We're hoping the guy will drop the charges," Jimmy said.

"Why are you going to meet Gabriel's lawyer for him?" Castiel asked.

"Because our cousin might just get killed by that girl he used to date," Jimmy said.

"Kali?" Castiel asked.

"That's the one," Jimmy said, kissing the top of Claire's head. "Bye, sweetheart. Be bad for Uncle Cas, okay? You want a kiss too?"

"I'm good," Castiel said dryly. "See if the lawyer can get Gabriel thrown in jail."

"I'll do my best," Jimmy said.

"What's he on trial for again? Starting a bar fight?" Castiel asked, taking the baby bag.

"Yep," Jimmy nodded.

Jimmy walked to the restaurant where he was supposed to meet Gabriel's lawyer, when he realized he had no idea what the guy looked like.

"You're Gabriel Novak?" a tall man asked. Jimmy did a double take at the man's size.

"Uh…who's asking?" Jimmy asked nervously.

"His lawyer," the man chuckled.

"Oh, okay. No, I'm not Gabe. I'm his cousin, Jimmy Novak. He sent me here on his behalf," Jimmy said.

"Ah, as long as he doesn't do that on the day of the trial. I'm Sam Winchester,"

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><p>Since I'm writing about being on the air, I thought I'd share this. Those of you who are familiar with Inherit the Wind will appreciate this... While recording a trial about religion and evolution for the radio…<p>

(1) Henry Drummond: Radio! God, this is going to break down a lot of walls.  
>Radio Announcer: You're not supposed to say "God" on the radio!<br>Henry Drummond: Why the hell not?  
>Radio Announcer : You're not supposed to say "Hell", either.<br>Henry Drummond: This is going to be a barren source of amusement!

Inherit the Wind

(2) Inherit the Wind- E. K. Hornbeck- He's the only man I know who can strut while sitting down.


	3. Chapter 3

Thanks Sheridan Holmes, darkphoenix2345, Fallen4Cas, kyatariina, Miss J, Mithya Aviana Cailin, leafgrl-88, supreme dramon, hamithehamister, SourSugarQuills, mrscastielftw, Eminnis, and Toast Dunham for reviewing!

Disclaimer: I don't own anything.

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><p>Dean was running late. On top of his job at the radio station, he also worked at a garage- Bobby Singer's garage, to be accurate, and Bobby was going to kill him. Dean cursed morning traffic and his need for decent coffee. No matter how hard he tried, Bobby couldn't just make decent coffee and Dean wasn't a fan of the coffee he made himself. So Dean rushed out of the coffee shop, running into a man.<p>

"Fuck!" Dean cursed. "Watch where you're going!"

"You ran into me," the dark, gravelly voice informed him with a frown. Dean looked up and under different circumstances, he would have been caught by the man's looks, like in the movies. But this was a circumstance where he was already running late to work because of traffic and coffee, and had just spilled the very coffee he had been running late for, and not to mention Bobby was going to kill him, and not to mention Dean hated chick flicks.

"I'm going to be late, damn it!"

"That is hardly my fault,"

"Well I'm going to be even later now- fuck!"

"Well maybe you should have woken up earlier and would you please refrain from cursing in front of my two year old-"

"Right, because a two year old is going to learn how to cuss. Bye," Dean said, grabbing napkins and pressing them against the coffee stain on his pants and shirt as he rushed to his car.

Castiel looked after the man with a frown, turning his attention back to Claire.

"He was rather rude, wasn't he?" Castiel huffed. The two year old stared at him and Castiel sighed, giving her another spoonful of cake. "And of course, you have no idea what I'm saying, do you? That's okay. I don't understand you, either." Claire gurgled happily at Castiel and Castiel smiled, pressing a kiss to her forehead. Castiel distracted himself from thinking he'd heard the voice somewhere before by engaging himself in a game of peek-a-boo with his niece and eating another bite of cake.

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><p>"<em>You ran into me," <em>Hours later_, _the voice _still_ wouldn't leave Dean's head. Where had he heard that voice? It sounded too familiar and yet, Dean couldn't place it. It was annoying.

"Dean, you in here?" Sam called.

"In here, Sammy," Dean called from under the hood of the car he was working on, ignoring his brother's grumble at being called Sammy. His younger brother had two coffee cups and a bag in his hands. Dean looked up and groaned. "Please tell me one of those is for me." Dean grabbed a rag and began wiping himself free of the oil.

"Yep. Bobby gave me a call and told me you were in one of your moods," Sam said, sliding into the passenger seat as Dean slid into the driver's seat. "I figured coffee was the solution."

"Figured right," Dean said, taking the coffee. "What's in the bag?"

"I figured that you missed breakfast too," Sam shrugged.

"Dude, if you weren't my brother, I'd marry you," Dean said happily, reaching for the bag and making Sam roll his eyes.

"You'll say you'll marry anyone who brings you food," Sam said.

"That's not true," Dean denied.

"Name two times," Sam challenged.

"Two?" Dean raised an eyebrow.

"Because I know you can name one," Sam said. Dean smirked and took a bite out of the sandwich Sam had brought him, wisely choosing not to comment on how Sam was trying to get him to eat healthier. Sometimes, Dean wondered whether or not Sam had majored in prelaw or premed. Although, he was sure Sam would excel in whatever he did.

"Hey, that one chick was crazy. No way was I gonna eat that shit," Dean said. Sam chuckled and then frowned.

"Who'd you meet?" Sam asked.

"I don't know what you're talking about. How'd your client-lawyer meeting go?" Dean asked.

"The dude's cousin showed up in his place," Sam answered. "Who'd you meet, Dean? I know that expression."

"What expression?"

"The one on your face,"

"There is no expression on my face,"

"You met someone and you have _the look_. You met someone,"

"Is that your best evidence, Mr. Hot Shot Lawyer?" Dean smirked.

"Dean," Sam whined, giving him his puppy dog eyes. Dean groaned. He was willing to bet Sam didn't win the cases he won because he was a good lawyer- it was those goddamned puppy dog eyes. No one could say no to the puppy dog eyes, and if they could, they felt guilty later.

"Put those away!" Dean growled, but of course, Sam didn't listen and feigned innocence.

"I don't know what you're talking about," Sam said.

"Liar," Dean grumbled. "I ran into some guy."

"Was he hot?" Sam asked. "He was hot, wasn't he?"

"I don't know- don't look at me like that. Shut up!" Dean growled. "Shut up! He spilled my damned coffee on me!"

"I didn't say anything," Sam blinked.

"You were thinking it," Dean said and Sam smirked. "Fine, he was hot alright? But that's not the point?"

"Then what is the point?" Sam asked.

"I can't get his voice out of my head," Dean said. "There you happy?"

"What's he sound like?" Sam asked.

"Dark, gravelly… deep," Dean said. "It doesn't matter. It just sounds like I've heard it before. Wanna see if she runs?"

"Start her up," Sam shrugged. Dean put the key in its slot and turned. They held their breath as the car's engine roared to life and then gave little cheers of joy. Dean's grin faded when he heard the radio.

"_I'm Castiel Novak and there is a two year old named Claire sitting on my lap and you're listening to the real story,"_

"Fuck," Dean said.

"What?" Sam asked.

"Shh," Dean hushed.

_"If you're wondering why there's a two year old on my lap, my brother left me with baby sitting duty. He was supposed to pick her up before my job started. Oh, there he is. Why are you late? Did someone spill coffee on you and blame it on you too? Uh oh, he's giving me the look again..."_

"There's a lot of people spilling coffee today," Sam commented. "Oh, don't tell me... the dude you spilled coffee on was the guy you've been fighting with on the radio, isn't it?" Dean glared at Sam and crossed his arms. Sam started laughing.

"Dude, it's totally karma!"


	4. Chapter 4

Thanks Eminnis, supreme dramon, pampamgirl, Mithya Aviana Cailin, kyatariina, wibiii, Sheridan Holmes, darkphoenix2345, twilightmecrazii, Miss J, hamithehamister, and SwoopingOwlSavior for reviewing!

Sorry this chapter's a little late, I've been busy.

Wow, thirty-nine reviews in three chapters! Thank you all so much!

Disclaimer: I don't own Supernatural or Stonehenge Apocalypse.

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><p>"You don't look like coffee's been spilled on you," Jimmy said.<p>

"I stopped home and changed," Castiel said.

"What have I told you about letting Claire sit on your lap while doing the show?" Jimmy asked, taking his daughter from her uncle.

"Nothing," Castiel said.

"Ah, remind me to rectify that incase Amelia hears that our two year old was sitting on your lap while you were spouting nonsense about aliens-"

"Robot head!"

"-aliens, robot heads, whatever- and people call child protective services," Jimmy said. "How was the princess today?"

"Princess Claire was a delight. We ate cake, I used her to pick up a few woman-"

"I'd totally believe that if you weren't gay,"

"No you wouldn't,"

"No, I wouldn't," Jimmy agreed. "Are you coming over for dinner tonight?"

"No, I don't think so," Castiel said.

"You sure? Amelia's making pot roast," Jimmy said. Castiel groaned.

"Da-ng it," Castiel said, changing his curse when he saw his twin's look. Jimmy had established a no-cussing-around-the-baby rule when he had found out Claire was in Amelia's womb. "Save me some. I promised Balthazar I'd pick up men with him." Jimmy chuckled and rolled his eyes, shifting Claire into one arm so that he could pat his twin on the shoulder.

"Good luck with that," Jimmy chuckled. "Why don't you just go out with him? You two have known each other long enough and sometimes I think he knows you almost as well as I do." Castiel snorted and pressed a kiss to his niece's and twin's foreheads.

"Going out with Balthazar would be like dating a gigolo," Castiel said. "No thanks."

"Suit yourself," Jimmy said with a shrug.

"Cassie, sweetheart! Are you ready to go? And oh, look, Jimmy and Claire are here! Hello, little princess," Balthazar said, plucking the two year old out of her father's arms, much to her delight. Castiel and Jimmy both rolled their eyes but didn't bother trying to hide the smiles. Balthazar was surprisingly good with children. "Well, my sweet, are you ready to go get your delectable hole pounded into-"

"Balthazar!" both twins protested as Balthazar gave Jimmy's daughter back to him.

"What? I didn't cuss!" Balthazar said innocently. "Jimmy, dearest, why don't you come with us and make this a three-"

"Get him away from me," Jimmy said, paling drastically. Castiel rolled his eyes and grabbed his trench coat, giving Jimmy a smirk that couldn't say anything other than, _"you wanted _this_ to be your brother in law?"_ Jimmy made sure his daughter wasn't looking when he flipped his brother off. His phone began ringing and he answered it.

"Hello?" Jimmy answered.

"_Jimmy? It's Sam. Sam Winchester," _

"Hey, Sam. What's going on?" Jimmy asked.

"_Can you get a hold of your cousin? There's been a change in the case," Sam said. "I'm sorry, I know it's late but-"_

"Gabriel is, uh, still busy," Jimmy winced, "Look, Sam, my wife's making pot roast and my brother just backed out on the dinner invitation. Why don't you come over for dinner and we'll talk over food?"

"_I don't want to intrude…" Sam said reluctantly._

"You won't be intruding. My wife, daughter, and I would be happy to have you as a guest," Jimmy said.

"_If you're sure…" Sam said._

"Yes, I'm sure. Amelia makes a mean pot roast. Now do you need directions or are you somewhere I can pick you up?" Jimmy asked.

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><p>"I thought <em>you <em>were the one trying to get a date," Castiel said, annoyed, taking the first swig of his second beer.

"Cassie, when's the last time you've gotten laid?" Balthazar asked. Castiel's cheeks reddened.

"I-that's-"

"You always were a horrible liar, sweetheart," Balthazar said fondly, ruffling Castiel's hair. Castiel swatted Balthazar's hand away with a frown.

"You're no better, _sweetheart_," Castiel spat. "I missed Amelia's pot roast for this?"

"Amelia is cooking pot roast? Why didn't you say something?" Balthazar demanded.

"Because you made it sound like it'd be the end of the world if you didn't get laid," Castiel huffed.

"Oh, yes, that's right. Tell you what, we go eat Amelia's pot roast and then we do each other?" Balthazar asked, leaning closer to Castiel.

"I can never tell if you're joking or not," Castiel rolled his eyes, carefully avoiding his best friend's eyes. Balthazar was leaning closer to Castiel and then the door to the bar slammed behind them. Castiel jumped and Balthazar pulled back and turned to see what Castiel was staring at with wide, doe eyes.

"Well now, isn't he tasty looking?" Balthazar asked, licking his lips.

"You are not a cannibal," Castiel blinked and Balthazar rolled his eyes.

"The things I do for you," Balthazar sighed, shaking his head.

"Well after you pulled that disappearing act on me for seven months, I deserve to get favors from you," Castiel said. Balthazar smirked and stood up.

"Look pathetic, sweetheart. I'm going to bring your lover boy over here after he gets another drink," Balthazar said.

"He hasn't even had his first drink," Castiel deadpanned.

"No, but he will. Bartender, get me two shots of something strong," Balthazar smirked.

"You're trying to get him to throw up on me," Castiel said.

"No, I'm trying to get him so muddled he'll do you," Balthazar corrected.

"Your confidence in my abilities is astounding," Castiel said.

"I'm sorry, I got laid yesterday and you got laid… when?" Balthazar asked. "I'll send your boy over to you in a few minutes." Balthazar took the shots and sauntered over to the man Castiel had his eye on. Castiel chuckled as Balthazar worked his magic, shaking his head when the man looked as if he had no idea what to do with Balthazar- most people who first met the man didn't. He didn't notice when another man approached him.

"I'm Gordon and you are?" the man smiled.

"Not interested, sorry," Castiel said.

"Come on, now. Don't be like that," Gordon said.

"Hey, sweetheart, miss me?" It sounded like a line Balthazar would've said but that wasn't Balthazar familiar accent- the voice was still familiar, but it wasn't Balthazar's. Castiel looked up to see the man he'd had his eye on up close and found his lips pressed to his. "Sorry I'm late, I lost track of time with that Toyota I'm working on. Who's your friend? I'm Dean." Dean held his hand out expectantly towards Gordon.


	5. Chapter 5

Thanks kyatariina, hamithehamister, rokubinosukanku, hereforsrsbsns, Anastasya24, Mithya Aviana Cailin, GorimJr., ryohei-nya, roobot, deathnoteno1fan-codegeasslover, darkphoenix2345, twilightmecrazii, Toast Dunham, supreme dramon, and Eminnis for reviewing!

Disclaimer: I don't own Supernatural.

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><p><em>Castiel looked up to see the man he'd had his eye on up close and found his lips pressed to his. "Sorry I'm late, I lost track of time with that Toyota I'm working on. Who's your friend? I'm Dean." Dean held his hand out expectantly towards Gordon. <em>

"I was just leaving," Gordon said stiffly.

"Nice meeting you," Dean smirked cheekily after Gordon.

"You're a mechanic?" Castiel asked, turning towards Dean.

"Bartender, a beer?" Dean asked and then hid his lips with his hand, pretending to wipe something off. "Pretend like you know me. He's still watching." Castiel raised an eyebrow but obliged, putting his hands in Dean's back pockets and pulling him closer.

"How was work? Did you get the Toyota back in shape yet?" Castiel asked.

"She won't start for some reason," Dean said. "Not sure why." He removed Castiel's hands from his back pockets so he could sit down and he reached over and pulled Castiel into his lap. He tilted his head expectantly and Castiel lowered his head so he could kiss Dean again- longer and properly.

"Thank you for the save," Castiel whispered.

"How thankful are you?" Dean asked with a lecherous grin. Castiel lowered his lips to Dean's and paused just centimeters away from Dean's lips.

"What are you doing here, Dean?" Castiel asked.

"Getting some," Dean said with a smirk and captured Castiel's lips again. "Come out with me to my car?" Castiel caught Balthazar's eye, the man giving him a wink and a shooing motion with his hands. Castiel didn't admit to owing Balthazar a lot. Balthazar probably racked up more favors than Castiel ever would, but Castiel was willing to be in debt for this.

Dean led Castiel outside by the hand and led him to a black car.

"Nice car," Castiel praised and it was obviously the right thing to say because Dean practically glowed.

"Runs like a charm," Dean smirked and he was probably one of those men who could go on and on for hours about his car but Castiel decided to cut him off, pinning Dean against the car and attacking his mouth with his own. Dean moaned and tried to get his hands free but Castiel had always been stronger than he looked.

"You didn't let me finish. Nice car. Want to show me the inside?" Castiel whispered against Dean's lips, rolling his hips against Dean's and eliciting a moan from the other man.

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><p>"<em>Hey, you're on the air with Dean Winchester and I found out that I don't get paid for saying that. If I did though, that'd be pretty awesome. I could just say 'you're on the air with Dean Winchester' for the whole show but then I wouldn't get any listeners and they'd kick my ass off the radio.<em>

_Anyways, I just had the best night ever. Let me tell you, dude had a _tight _ass. Seemed kind of familiar too but I can't place him. Too bad I didn't get a name. Well, sweetheart, if you're in town, give me a call sometime. I don't usually do repeats but I'll make an exception for you. So give me a call- and that's not an open invitation to all you weirdoes who are going to try and pretend to be him."_

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><p>"Cas, you here?" Jimmy called. He was answered by his brother's groan and he rolled his eyes and sighed. "Amelia sent pot roast over."<p>

"In the bedroom," Castiel said.

"Goodnight?" Jimmy asked.

"Balthazar definitely knows how to make me have a good time," Castiel agreed sleepily.

"Get laid?" Jimmy asked.

"The guy had a tight ass," Castiel smirked.

"I did _not_ want to know that," Jimmy said.

"Then you shouldn't have asked," Castiel said.

"I didn't," Jimmy said. "You going to warm this up?"

"Give it here," Castiel said, taking the plate. He grabbed a pair of jeans and wrestled to get them on as he walked to the microwave.

"Well, you're walking fine," Jimmy noted, snickering as Castiel tripped and grabbed onto the side of the counter.

"Of course I am. I told you he-"

"Cas! TMI!"

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><p>"Dean, are you walking funny?" Jo asked.<p>

"I'm not. Shut up," Dean grunted.

"Yes, you are," Jo said. "Oh my god… you took it up the ass, didn't you?"

"No!"

"You did! You totally did!"

"Jo, shut up!"

"Dean Winchester took it up the ass!"

"Shut up, Jo! Get your ass over here!"

"You're going to have to catch me first! Good luck after having _taken it up the ass_!"

"Jo!"

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><p>"<em>Hello, those of you who believe in the strange, the unknown, the unthinkable… I'm Castiel Novak and you're listening to the Real Story. Now, there have always been strange occurrences. I wouldn't say I <em>don't _believe in fate- but I definitely don't believe in coincidences. I believe everything happens for a reason. _

_My reason for bringing this up? Well, Fate has decided to grace me herself. I think I've had the best night of my life- and if it's not _the_ best night of my life, it's definitely up there in the top ten. I think I have to say that because my beautiful sister in law Amelia is holding my adorable niece named Claire and she makes food for me. Ever had her pot roast? I'd die happily if she poisoned it. _

_Uh, enjoy some tunes while I go talk to my sister in law,"_

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><p>"Amelia, what's the matter?" Castiel asked. "Do you need me to take Claire?"<p>

"No, I can take care of Claire but can you meet Gabriel's lawyer in Jimmy's place?" Amelia asked.

"You want me to play twin switch?" Castiel asked. "You hate that."

"No, I mean yes, I hate that, but I don't want you to pretend to be Jimmy," Amelia said. "Just meet his lawyer and-"

"Wait, why can't Jimmy do it?" Castiel frowned. "Is he okay?"

"He got caught up at work," Amelia said. "And I got the wrong bottle and served him a stronger drink and he'd already had a few drinks earlier and it was late and now he's passed out on the couch…"

"So you want me to play a chauffeur so you can get to work and get the princess to school," Castiel said. "Alright. I'll do it."

"Thank you, Cas!" Amelia said, kissing him on the cheek.

* * *

><p>Castiel walked into his brother's home, rolling his eyes when he saw the Sasquatch on the couch. He nudged the man.<p>

"Hey, it's time to wake up," Castiel said.

"Go away, Dean," the lawyer muttered.

"I'm not Dean," Castiel huffed.

"Jimmy? Oh, crap… sorry, what time is it?" Sam groaned.

"I'm not Jimmy either and it's a little after ten," Castiel said.

"Who are you?" Sam frowned. "I must still be drunk…"

"I'm Castiel, Jimmy's twin," Castiel said.

"Well, hi, Castiel. I'm Sam Winchester- you're the guy on the radio!" Sam said.

"Oh, yeah, that's me. You're a fan?" Castiel blinked.

"You annoy the hell out of my brother!" Sam grinned.

"Uh… you're welcome?"


	6. Chapter 6

Thanks DestielForever98, twilightmecrazii, Mithya Aviana Cailin, hamithehamister, supreme dramon, HereforSrsBsns, Paulathe Cat, SourSugarQuills, Anastasya24, darkphoenix2345, KittyBits, Eminnis, GorimJr., kyatariina, rhain572, and rokubinosukanku for reviewing!

Oh, seventy reviews in five chapters! Thank you all so much!

Disclaimer: I don't own Supernatural.

* * *

><p>"How did he get on top?" Jo asked.<p>

"He didn't," Dean grunted.

"Uh huh, right. Come on, you can tell me. You're my gay best friend," Jo smiled sweetly.

"Oh shut up! I'm bi!" Dean snapped, like it mattered. "I was drunk. Some blonde guy talked me into drinking a few shots. Pointed out the guy and said it was a shame for that ass to go to waste and I agreed. Man, the dude had a sweet ass…"

"So _how'd_ he get on top?" Jo persisted.

"Promised I could fuck him so hard he wouldn't be able to walk for a week if I let him top first," Dean said. "And my drunk self believed it." Jo laughed and Dean gave her a dirty look and shoved her lightly. Jo laughed harder and shoved him back.

"Your drunk self is an idiot," Jo snickered.

"Yeah, whatever. I got to get to Bobby's. I've got a shift there," Dean said.

"Alright, see you later princess," Jo teased. "Make sure you get _under_ that car _good_."

"You are so lucky I'm scared of your mom," Dean threatened.

"You're scared of my mom?" Jo laughed.

"I think so," Dean said.

But hey, who could blame him? Ellen Harvelle was a scary woman.

* * *

><p>"So your brother is the man I've been arguing with on the air?" Castiel frowned.<p>

"Yeah," Sam nodded, still not having lost his grin. "You should come over for dinner. He'd have a freak out. You actually met before- I guess there was a coffee incident?" Blonde hair, military cut, and green eyes came to mind and wasn't that just like- oh. _Ooh_…

"Sam… what is your brother's name?" Castiel swallowed.

"Dean Winchester," Sam said.

"Oh. I think I fucked your brother last night," Castiel said bluntly and then he realized what he'd just said. "Oh… I wasn't supposed to say that, was I?" Sam looked pale and Castiel had the impression that Sam was about to hurl.

"No," Sam said. "Is there anything you two _haven't _done for fate to draw you together?"

"I don't understand," Castiel blinked.

"Well you fight over the radio about an alien-"

"Robot head,"

"Whatever- and you spill coffee on each other and now you… you know," Sam grimaced. "You keep running into each other like fate's drawn you two together. Anything you haven't done?" Castiel paused to think.

"Well I did promise him if he let me top-"

"Okay, too much information, Castiel!"

"My apologies," Castiel said. "I should take you home… and check on Balthazar. Would you mind if we stopped at his apartment? It's not that far away."

"Sure," Sam said.

* * *

><p>Balthazar was lying in his apartment, having just kicked some one night stand out of his apartment. He stared at the ceiling, thinking of the stupid thing he had almost done. He had almost kissed Castiel- his best friend. That would not have gone over well. Sure, the sexual attraction was there, but beyond that? Balthazar wasn't made for relationships, not even for Castiel.<p>

Thank God that the blonde gorilla had come in when he had.

A knock at his door made him groan.

"I don't care if you forgot something, I'm not getting up!" Balthazar said.

"Balthazar, it's me,"

"Me who?"

"Who else comes to your apartment?" Castiel huffed.

"Alright, I'm up, you bastard," Balthazar said, wrapping a sheet around himself so he wouldn't give Castiel a full frontal view. He opened the door and raised an eyebrow. "Alright, you, I know. I also this… tall thing isn't the gorilla you went home with." Balthazar said. Castiel rolled his eyes as he pushed past the blonde. "Did you score twice in one night, Cassie?"

"No, this is his brother," Castiel said.

"What?" Balthazar said. "Incestuous much? Didn't know you were into that. Kinky, Cas."

"I'm not," Castiel said.

"Ew," Sam looked pale.

"Ah, yes, so why are you here with the gorilla's brother?" Balthazar asked.

"Gorilla?" Castiel asked.

"Dean. Blonde overly macho gorilla," Balthazar said and Sam snorted. "Like that, do you?" Sam blushed when he saw the way Balthazar's eyes racked over his form.

"Sam is Gabriel's lawyer," Castiel informed him. Balthazar let out a bark of laughter.

"I've always wanted to do a lawyer," Balthazar said.

"Balthazar, leave Sam alone," Castiel said, shifting through Balthazar's closet.

"What are you doing?" Balthazar asked.

"Looking for my black jacket you borrowed," Castiel said.

"On the chair over there," Balthazar said. Castiel retrieved his jacket.

"We can go now," he told a confused and flustered Sam. Sam went out the door first but Castiel stopped at the doorway and turned to Balthazar. "What did you say to him?"

"_See that piece of ass over there? Turned me down because you walked in. I've been after his ass _for months_. Shame like a piece of ass like that to go to waste, don't you think?" Balthazar asked._

"Got him buttered up with a few shots and told him you were a hot piece of ass," Balthazar said. "He agreed. Hey- why aren't you walking funny?" Castiel smirked and shut the door.

"Well, well, well, Cassie boy's all grown up. And damn, I'm hard again," Balthazar sighed, contemplating on whether the lawyer would blow him or not.

But he was Gabriel's lawyer and Gabriel didn't waste time... did he really want Gabriel's leftovers?

Balthazar made a face and decided against it.

* * *

><p>"Is he always like that?" Sam asked.<p>

"Usually he's worse but I think he just woke up," Castiel said. "Don't take him too seriously. He'll drive you insane. The only thing he's serious about is a good fuck."

"So, uh, did you still want to meet my brother? In a less physical way?" Sam asked when they pulled in front of the apartment he and Dean shared.

"I don't think it would be a good idea," Castiel said. "One night stands are supposed to remain that way. It was nice meeting you, Sam."

"Yeah, you too. Thanks for the ride," Sam said, getting out and shutting the door. Castiel drove away and headed to the mechanic's to finally check out the sound the car had been making that Jimmy had been bugging him to get checked out for weeks. He could call Jimmy to pick him up for work.

He pulled into Robert Singer's Salvage Yard.


	7. Chapter 7

Thanks darkphoenix2345, rokubinosukanku, JieL, Manifestation of a Storyteller, Aoi-Moku, DestielForever98, Hakarou, hamithehamister, twilightmecrazii, akuma-river, HereforSrsBsns, Uroboros187, l2adiol2obot, SomerTrevAckles, Eminnis, Ms. Unlucky, kyatariina, and supreme dramon for reviewing!

Disclaimer: I don't own Supernatural.

I was wondering how to introduce Gabriel into the story… then I got an idea. You'll see it.

* * *

><p>Castiel's phone began ringing before he even managed to stop foot out of the car. Castiel sighed and then groaned when he saw the caller ID. He toyed with the idea of hanging up but then he knew that his voicemail would be flooded with messages or the caller would keep calling.<p>

"What do you want, Gabriel?" Castiel asked.

"I need a job," Gabriel said.

"That's great. Look at the paper. I hear people put ads in there to let people know they're hiring," Castiel said.

"Okay, whoever taught you sarcasm had no idea how much of a pain you could be. Jimmy said my lawyer said it'd look good for my case and I'm running out of money for rent-" Gabriel rambled. Castiel sighed and held the phone away from his ear until Gabriel was done talking.

"What do you want me to do about it?" Castiel asked, reaching for a water bottle. He took a swig out of it.

"Can you get me a job at your radio station?" Gabriel asked. Castiel choked and tried to spit out the water, opening the door so he could spit the water onto the ground instead of the interior of the car. Gabriel tried grabbing Castiel's attention, wondering what the coughing was about.

"What?" Castiel choked still, wiping his mouth off.

"I need a job and-"

"Are you serious?" Castiel demanded.

"Yes. I can talk about extraterrestrials and aliens with the best of them-"

"_Robot head_," Castiel gritted out. "Gabriel, you can't listen to my show for thirty seconds without cracking a joke. What makes you think you can sit through your _own show_?"

"Hey, you make comments about your sex life," Gabriel said, causing Castiel to flush. "I can do that. Look man… just see if you can get me a job." The "_I need this_" went unsaid but Castiel heard it. He sighed and undid his seat belt.

"I'll see what I can do," Castiel said. "I have to go now. I'm taking my car in."

"Great… thanks, Cas," Gabriel said.

"Don't make me regret this," Castiel said, hanging up the phone. He walked into the building, finding a man sitting behind a desk. "Mr. Singer?" Castiel asked.

"It's just Bobby," the older man grunted.

"Bobby, I'm Castiel Novak-"

"Having car trouble?" Bobby asked.

"I don't have any other reason to come here," Castiel said idly. The man gave him a look for the smart ass comment. "Sorry." The man turned back towards the paper he was working on and then cursed, throwing the pen on the table.

"God damn paper work. Alright. Let's get you to one of my mechanics," Bobby said, wheeling his way from behind the desk.

"You own a salvage yard and yet you're in a wheelchair?" Castiel asked and then he caught himself. "My apologies, that was rude of me… my brother's-"

"You're rambling, ya idjit. Least you ain't beatin' around the bush. I owned this place before I broke my legs. Seemed like a shame to sell it when I still get good business. All I had to do was hire a few more mechanics to keep this place going," Bobby said. "Dean! Get your ass over here, boy!"

"Under here, Bobby," a familiar voice grunted. Bobby wheeled over to the Toyota and Castiel's heart skipped a beat.

Dean? That voice? Working on a Toyota?

"Got a client. Listen to him. Fix his car," Bobby grunted. "I'll leave you two idjits alone." Bobby wheeled away and Dean pushed himself out from under the car, reaching for a rag. He wiped the grease off his hands and looked up, freezing when he did.

* * *

><p><em>"You didn't let me finish. Nice car. Want to show me the inside?" Castiel whispered against Dean's lips, rolling his hips against Dean's and eliciting a moan from the other man. Dean fumbled around with the door, finally getting it opened. He tried to push Castiel in first so he could be on top but Castiel kept him pinned.<em>

"_Let me be on top this time… and you can fuck me so hard that I can't walk straight for a week," Castiel growled, voice dropping a few octaves. Dean's pupils darkened and he pulled Castiel into a rough kiss as they wrestled their way into the car._

"_Well, sweetheart, why don't you tell me your name unless you want me calling you sweetheart when I cum," Dean smirked._

"_You can call me Cas,"_

* * *

><p>"Cas?" Dean asked. Castiel swallowed.<p>

"Hello, Dean," Castiel said.


	8. Chapter 8

Thanks hamithehamister, twilightmecrazii, darkphoenix2345, firgodes7, rokubinosukanku, Eminnis, kyatariina, supreme dramon, SomerTrevAckles, HereforSrsBsns, akuma-river, and Ms. Unlucky for reviewing!

Disclaimer: I don't own Supernatural.

Sorry for the shortness of the last chapter!

Yay! 101 reviews! Like the dalmations! Thank you everyone!

Okay so does anyone have any idea on whom they'd like to see with whom? I've recently become a fan of BalthazarxSam but of course, I'm still a GabrielxSam fan. **So who do we want Sammy with?**

* * *

><p><em>"Cas?" Dean asked. Castiel swallowed.<em>

_"Hello, Dean," Castiel said._

"I'm not stalking you, I swear," Castiel blurted out after an awkward silence and then he blushed, kicking himself for his stupidity.

"Good to know. So…uh, you having car trouble?" Dean asked, looking away. Okay, Dean was avoiding the issue. Castiel could do that.

"Uh, yeah. The car keeps making a sound," Castiel swallowed.

"Okay, let me take a look at it," Dean said, slinging the rag over his shoulder. Castiel's breath hitched when he saw the halftime mechanic-DJ. Dean was wearing a gray shirt under his mechanics outfit, which was unzipped and the top half wasn't on him, hanging off so that only the pants were on. If Dean noticed the hitch in voice, he didn't say anything, but made his way out to the front to see Castiel's problem.

"So, I hear we've been arguing on the air," Castiel said awkwardly. Dean stopped and turned around with a frown.

"What?"

"Castiel Novak, I work on the Real Story?" Castiel offered. "Aliens? Robot heads?" Castiel cursed when the words tumbled out of his mouth. He had never been good in social situations. Dean didn't looked to impressed and Castiel was pretty sure the words that were going through his mind were-

"How do you know I work at a radio station?" Dean asked- not that.

"I met your brother. He's my cousin's lawyer," Castiel winced. Great, now he'd think his family was a bunch of hooligans. "I put two and two together and… this is awkward." Dean snorted.

"Tell me about it," Dean muttered.

"Well- oh, that was rhetorical," Castiel muttered when Dean shot him a look. Dean sighed and stopped, turning around to face Castiel.

"Dude, relax. How about we start over or some shit like that?" Dean asked.

"You want to forget our night together?" Castiel swallowed.

"What? No. No. God, no," Dean shook his head. "I mean… let's just make things… normal?" Castiel nodded.

"I'm Castiel Novak. I work as a DJ on a channel which I spout nonsense about robot heads," Castiel said, holding his hand out for Dean to shake.

"And aliens," Dean said, mouth twitching upwards in a smile as he took Castiel's hand.

"No," Castiel said, not losing the smile but he looked dangerous in a happy maniacal kind of way. "Just robot heads. Aliens would just be ridiculous."

"Uh, right. Whatever floats your boat," Dean said. "I'm Dean Winchester, part time radio host and mechanic. So, uh…" Dean hesitated.

"Car," Castiel said.

"What?" Dean asked.

"Car, it's, uh, making noise," Castiel said, feeling like an idiot again as Dean nodded, remembering where they were.

"Yeah, I'll take a look," Dean said and Castiel found himself smiling, not feeling like an idiot when Dean opened the hood of his car and bent over, giving Castiel a perfect view of his ass. Dean looked over his shoulder.

"Dude, are you staring at my ass?"

"Of course not," Castiel grunted, turning away so Dean couldn't see how red his face was, silently wishing that Balthazar would show up soon. He couldn't wait until Balthazar picked him up… Castiel paled at the thought. Balthazar was by no means a "safe driver." What Castiel meant was, Balthazar drove like a mad man.

Balthazar swore he learned how to drive from a schizophrenic fugitive.

Castiel believed him.

* * *

><p>"<em>Hello, this is Castiel Novak. A word of advice to my… more mature listeners. If you meet a one night stand again, don't ask him to fix your car even if he's the mechanic. Ask for a different mechanic. And although we all know that there <em>is_ something more out there, don't mention it unless you _know _they aren't going to think of sending you into a mental hospital._

_So the point of this part of the program is… don't meet your one night stand after that one night. It's awkward and painful. Now we can get to the good stuff. So, friends, I have something pretty big to start us off with today. I picked up an unbelievably strong electromagnetic burst…"_

* * *

><p>"You realize you could always get a different job at a different station if you don't want people to report you to a mental hospital once they find out who you are," Jimmy said.<p>

"You mean like that one guy I tried to date a few years ago?" Castiel asked.

"Yes, you thought talking about your radio show would get rid of the bloke. It made him report you to a mental hospital," Balthazar smirked. "_That_ was a great Christmas present."

"It happened in April," Castiel frowned.

"Exactly," Balthazar said.

"So the car's getting fixed?" Jimmy asked.

"Yes. I caught a ride with Balthazar and ended up here," Castiel said. "What're you doing here? Is it my turn to babysit Claire again?"

"Shouldn't you remember things like that?" Jimmy asked.

"No. You'll show up with her here if I forget," Castiel said simply.

* * *

><p>"<em>Hey, you're on the air with Dean Winchester. So remember the guy I had the best night ever with? Mr. One Night Stand? Well, you should really be careful about what you say because sometimes, it comes to bite you in the ass. Like, you tend to run into each other kind of bite-you-in-the-ass…"<em>

* * *

><p>"So you ran into Mr. Best Night of My Life again?" Jo smirked. Dean made a face.<p>

"Dude, you're making me sound like Lisa," Dean said.

"Well, Mom's put out coupons in the paper for drinks," Jo said. "It's going to be a full house tonight- you game?"

"Yeah, I'll be there," Dean said.

* * *

><p>"Hey man, thanks for getting me the job," Gabriel strolled in, looking pleased with himself.<p>

"Just don't embarrass me. You _do_ remember what station you're working on, don't you?" Castiel asked.

"Yeah, yeah, the unthinkable, supernatural, aliens-"

"Robot head!"

"Yeah, whatever," Gabriel said, walking into the booth that Castiel had occupied minutes before.

"Why are you looking at me weird?" Castiel frowned at his brother and Balthazar.

"Are you sure you don't believe the nonsense you spout?" Balthazar asked.

* * *

><p>"<em>Hey, radio listeners. I'm Gabriel Novak, no relation to Castiel Novak who just happens to be my cousin. Anyways, you're here listening to me talk about all this supernatural, unthinkable crap. And I'm here to tell you; you're all a bunch of idiots. Why are you sitting listening to me and Cas talk about the supernatural when you could be out there <em>looking_ for the damned things yourselves? I mean, if you're sitting here listening to this crap and not figuring these things out yourselves, you're either stupid or have no life. Maybe even both."_

* * *

><p>"He's going to get me fired," Castiel groaned.<p>

"I don't know. This is better than some of the other crap you have on here," Balthazar said seriously, making Castiel glare at him. "Hey, so this bar- The Road something or other- is passing out coupons in the paper for tonight. It's going to be a hit. Want to go with?"

"Sure," Castiel said.


	9. Chapter 9

Thanks Anastasya24, rokubinosukanku, twilightmecrazii, darkphoenix2345, Eminnis, akuma-river, Hakarou, kyatariina, SuperNaturalGurl32, SomerTrevAckles, hamithehamister, Total Witch 17, Ms. Unlucky, Lithium, supreme dramon, and HereforSrsBsns for reviewing!

We are at a tie for who wants Sammy with Balthazar and who wants Sammy with Gabriel. 1:1.

Disclaimer: I don't own Supernatural.

* * *

><p>Castiel and Jimmy had to hand it to Balthazar. The man definitely knew how to pick a scene. There was never a dull moment around the man, Castiel thought dryly as they made their way to the bar. A pretty, young bartender was mixing a drink and she looked up at them with a raised eyebrow.<p>

"Hello, sweetheart. I'll take a ménage times… what's French for twelve?" Balthazar pondered. Jimmy rolled his eyes and took over the ordering.

"He'll take one of whatever he just ordered. I'll have whatever this coupon is for and Cas…" Jimmy turned his eyes to his twin, knowing that Castiel had a higher alcohol tolerance than most people.

"Sex on the beach," Castiel said. Jimmy blushed and sputtered nonsense and Balthazar snorted. The corner of Jo's mouth lifted upwards.

"Aren't you just the type?" she asked with a wink. "Coming right up."

* * *

><p>Like Jo had said, the Roadhouse was packed when Dean and Sam finally made their appearance. Dean was betting it had to do with the Purple Nurple coupons- which he had at least ten of. Sam had rolled his eyes and told him he was going to die of liver failure when he saw what Dean had done. Dean had promptly replied, "Bitch," to which Sam had responded, "Jerk," and they were on their way. Sam had taken away at least half of Dean's coupons, if not more.<p>

Dean made his way to the bar and Jo caught sight of him, giving him a smile as she expertly slid a drink down the bar and to its owner.

"Hey," Dean said, giving her a customary kiss on the cheek and Sam did the same. "Where's Ellen?"

"Cracking out more whiskey," Jo shrugged.

"So, anything hot?" Dean smirked, leaning on the counter, giving her a coupon for a Purple Nurple, ordering something girly for Sam, which earned him a glare and Sam asking for a beer.

"You mean besides me?" Jo smirked, batting her eyes flirtatiously as she mixed his drink. "Seen a few come in. I'm sure you'll find them yourself if you want some." Dean didn't bother to hide a smirk as he took his drink from her.

"Damn, woman. You know how to make a Purple Nurple," Dean grinned appreciatively at her. Jo rolled her eyes.

"I'd better. I've made at least fifty of those," she grumbled, passing Sam his beer. Dean took another drink before someone caught his eye.

"No way," Dean whispered.

"You say something?" Sam asked.

"Gotta use the head," Dean said, putting his drink down and walking off in the bathroom. When he reached the bathroom, a man passed him and he did a double take, thinking it was Cas. The nickname slipped out from his lips but the man didn't turn around, leading Dean to thinking he either didn't want to see Dean or didn't hear Dean. Either way, Dean was content to let him walk away. He went into the bathroom for the sake of appearances and then froze when he saw Castiel washing his hands.

Castiel reached for a paper towel and then he finally saw Dean and froze.

* * *

><p>"Where's your brother?" Balthazar asked, nursing his drink.<p>

"Still in the bathroom, I guess," Jimmy shrugged.

"You know, Jimmy, if I weren't totally wrapped around your little girl's pinky, I'd have fucked you into next March," Balthazar said. Jimmy rolled his eyes.

"I'm married," Jimmy said pointedly.

"Since when have I cared?" Balthazar asked. Jimmy sighed and decided not to point out the obvious about him not being gay.

"Balthazar, I'm not Cas," he said. Balthazar's expression wavered for a moment.

"I know that. Me and Cas? That's just silly. Isn't that Gabriel's lawyer, talking to the bartender?" Balthazar frowned, craning his head to get a better look.

"Sam?" Jimmy asked, turning around to check. "Yeah, that's him. How do you know him?"

"Well, you see, Jimmy boy, I met him in a dream. He was screaming my name," Balthazar smirked, making his way over to the bar after downing his glass in one go, reminding Jimmy of how Balthazar and Castiel had met- their drinking abilities. Jimmy sighed and resisted the urge to bang his forehead against the table. He just had to have asked, didn't he?

"I'm married," he smiled apologetically at the woman approaching him who instantly backed off. With a sigh, he took another drink of his Purple Nurple and immediately made a face.

Why had he agreed to come with them?

* * *

><p>"<em>Why don't you come with us, Jimbo?" Balthazar had suggested after Castiel had accepted his invitation to join him at the bar. "We could make this a party, turn it into a threesome. The French have only beautiful-"<em>

"_He's not going to shut up until you agree to come," Castiel said in his bored monotone, and even though Castiel had spoken, Balthazar kept on talking as if Castiel hadn't uttered a word._

"_Do you know what French for twelve is? I've been trying to figure that out. And I'm sure Amelia won't mind you grabbing a drink with us. If not, I'll call her. She can't resist me asking, but don't blame her, no woman or man really can resist me-"_

* * *

><p>"If the paranormal exist and you're all so sure they do, go find a damn robot head or alien or whatever Cas keeps talking about yourself," Gabriel continued on with his show. "How hard can it be? Put liquor out for the fairies. Why would you put sugar out for them? It just attracts ants and if it hasn't worked by now, it won't work later so give them something they'll actually like-"<p>

* * *

><p>"<em>And I'm sure you can get someone else to watch Claire if Amelia wants the night to herself. She can even come with us if she's willing to watch us – well, me, leave with a one night stand-"<em>

"_Shut up and I'll go,"_

* * *

><p>Oh, right.<p>

Gabriel's and Balthazar's monologues separately were one thing, but together…

Jimmy took a long drink of his Purple Nurple and prayed the two would never realize what hell they could elicit consciously.

It would be Hell on Earth.

* * *

><p>"Um…" Castiel said.<p>

"I'm not stalking _you_, I swear," Dean said, feeling stupid as soon as the words left his mouth. A normal person probably would have attempted a smile or a chuckle but Castiel just stood looking like a deer caught in the headlights. He swallowed.

"My brother says I'm awkward in social situations. My whole family says that. My best friend says that," Castiel mumbled under his breath but it was loud enough for Dean to hear. "Want to make good on what I promised you?" The question was a horrible, desperate attempt to get rid of the awkwardness- it even came out awkward and unconfident- and it left Dean stumped for a minute but when it registered, something feral went off in Dean.

"Hell yes," he growled, closing the distance between him and Castiel and slamming him against the wall, kissing him desperately in a kiss that was all tongue and teeth.


	10. Chapter 10

So here are the results so far.

GabrielxSam: 6

BalthazarxSam: 5

Fallen4Cas, I'll just withhold your vote from the number until we see what's going to happen.

And in a surprising turn of events…

BalthazarxGabriel: 1

Hmm, does the author's opinion count? Haha, if it does, we'll be tied up at 6:6... well, 6:6:1

Thanks lljn105, firgodes7, hamithehamister, WatchingTheAngels, Fallen4Cas, rhain572, SciFiSlashFreak, jen, Anastasya24, Miss. Meow, ktsimpson17, Eminnis, supreme dramon, darkphoenix2345, SuperNaturalGurl32, HereforSrsBsns, Ockermuller, kyatariina, twilightmecrazii, SomerTrevAckles, and Ms. Unlucky for reviewing!

And by the way, I honestly didn't plan the ending. My pen was taken and the character in question ran away with it.

Disclaimer: I don't own Supernatural.

* * *

><p>"Dean- Dean," Castiel said between kisses and trying halfheartedly to push Dean backwards. "I- ah- didn't mean… here!" Dean stopped and Castiel took the opportunity to breathe regularly. Dean's hands were on either side of his head and Dean wasn't quite sure where to look so he was looking downwards. Castiel stared at the ceiling, wondering how he had managed to mess this one up.<p>

"Dean-" Castiel said.

"Yeah, no, it's fine," Dean said. "I guess public sex isn't your thing." Dean took a step back and put his hands into his pockets, trying to look casual. "Another time, then?" Castiel nodded and then watched as Dean took two steps away but then he grabbed Dean's forearm and turned him around, kissing him hard on the mouth.

"Definitely later," Castiel whispered, slipping his card into Dean's pocket. Dean smirked and then followed Castiel out of the bathroom. They glanced at each other, reluctantly going back to their respective parties.

* * *

><p>"Now come on, Sam. We'd obviously have good chemistry. I'm hot, you're hot. How can you resist?" Balthazar asked.<p>

"Are you always this forward?" Sam asked, not really knowing what to do with the blonde.

"Just with the ones I like," Balthazar smiled. "Can I get you another drink?"

"Actually, he said I could buy it, Balthazar,"

"Gabriel," Balthazar frowned. "What are you doing here?"

"I had a coupon," Gabriel smirked. "What're you doing _here_?"

"I also had a coupon," Balthazar said.

"Well Sammy and I have a standing appointment," Gabriel said. "It has to do with me not getting thrown into the big house, you know? That's kind of important so can you leave us to talk?" Balthazar huffed and walked away, going back to Jimmy.

"He's my cousin's best friend," Gabriel said in explanation. "You just got to know how to handle him."

"Cas, right?" Sam said.

"How do you know Cas?" Gabriel asked.

"Oh, he took me home when I spent the night at Jimmy and Amelia's," Sam said, blushing when he realized how that sounded. Gabriel raised an eyebrow and smirked, turning his attention towards Jo.

"Hey, sweetheart, get me a strawberry daiquiri and another of whatever he's having, yeah?" Gabriel asked.

* * *

><p>"Where have you been?" Balthazar asked.<p>

"The bathroom," Castiel said. "What's wrong with you? What's wrong with him?"

"He got shot down by Gabriel's lawyer by Gabriel from what I've been able to figure out," Jimmy shrugged. Balthazar glared at Jimmy and reached to shove him weakly. Jimmy rolled his eyes and shoved Balthazar back and then he looked at his twin. "What were you doing in the bathroom? Masturbating?" Balthazar looked up and a smirk slipped onto his face as Castiel flushed.

"I was not masturbating," Castiel grumbled, sitting on the chair.

"No, but you were certainly doing something. That's not your usual bed hair," Balthazar said.

"Weren't you depressed three seconds ago?" Castiel growled.

"Ooh, Cassie boy was getting his freak on in the bathroom," Balthazar smirked. "What?"

"I never want to hear you say the word 'freak' again," Jimmy said.

"I don't want to hear either of you say that word again," Castiel said.

"So who were you getting down and dirty with in the bathroom?" Balthazar asked, waggling his eyebrows and leaning forward. Jimmy even looked interested and leaned forward slightly but he was torn between being a brother and getting the dirt.

"No dirty details," Jimmy said, making a compromise within himself.

"No dirty details? What's wrong with you? Dish, Cas and make sure _not_ to leave out any dirty details," Balthazar objected. "Oh, and if you have any pictures, those would be great." Castiel looked away and he accidentally found Dean across the bar, talking to the bartender and sitting on Gabriel's right while Sam was on Gabriel's left.

Balthazar craned his neck to see what Castiel was looking at. He fell forward, the alcohol he'd consumed getting to him and he fell into Castiel. Castiel was pushed forward and the chair fell backwards, giving out on the two and causing a scene. Jimmy sighed, wondering if there was some way he could pretend he wasn't with the two as the clatter brought everyone's attention to them.

"I'm drunk!" Balthazar announced with a grin, reaching and feeling blindly for his cup on the table. "And I would like the rest of my twelve rounds."

"He's drunk," Castiel deadpanned, standing up and letting Balthazar fall to a heap on the floor. He risked a glance at Dean and realized that the man was flat out staring at him like he had two heads.

Or in this case, a twin.

"Alright, I've had enough," Balthazar muttered, getting to his feet. The people in the bar's attention had mostly gone back to whatever it was they had been doing. "Come on, Cas. I need a wingman."

"Why me?" Castiel frowned.

"Because I don't like Jimmy right now. He's looking far too smug," Balthazar huffed.

"That makes no sense," Castiel said.

"You make a better wingman," Balthazar said.

"You spend three quarters of our time together calling me socially inept," Castiel said.

"I resent that!" Balthazar said and then amended. "A quarter of it, but if I don't make you aware of your flaws then who will? Come on." He grabbed Castiel by the wrist and dragged him over to the bar, clearly headed in Sam's direction. When they got there, Balthazar shoved Castiel into Dean (who barely managed to catch him and hold him against his chest to keep him from falling) and grabbed a hold of Sam's shirt, kissing him hard on the lips.

"He's drunk," Castiel said in explanation as Dean looked thoroughly confused and like he wanted wasn't sure whether to kill Balthazar or not.


	11. Chapter 11

Thanks Anastasya24, darkphoenix2345, OcherEloquence, Eminnis, firgodes7, Sara Ock (and yes, your vote does count), supreme dramon, hamithehamister, Miss MP, SuperNaturalGurl32, akuma-river, kyatariina, twilightmecrazii, Aoi-Moku, Fallen4Cas, Ms. Unlucky, and Anony-Mouse for reviewing!

155 reviews! Thank you so much everyone!

BalthazarxSam: 7

GabrielxSam: 8

Disclaimer: I don't own Supernatural.

* * *

><p>"Well, that was hot," Balthazar grinned before Gabriel punched him. Castiel reached out to grab his best friend and Dean had a hold on him, and since he was slightly drunk, he missed. Luckily, Sam had quick reflexes and grabbed him before he hit the ground. Castiel mumbled something unintelligible and leaned back into Dean as Jimmy came over.<p>

"I'm more drunk than I thought. Why are there two of you?" Dean asked.

"Cas? Explanation now," the twin said.

"Well, you see, when two sperm reach-"

"Not how we were created. Why is Balthazar on the floor?" Jimmy said and then he glared at Dean. "What are you doing with my brother?" Dean didn't get a chance to answer as Jimmy took his brother back, stumbling a little from the weight. Dean reached out to steady him but Jimmy bat his hand away with a glare. "And why are you pretending to be drunk? I've seen you drink ten tequila shots without wavering."

"I'm tired," Castiel said.

"You're just trying to pretend you're tired so you won't get yelled at," Jimmy grumbled. "Gabriel, get the idiot on the floor- and _don't_ drop him."

"You don't want me carrying him them," Gabriel replied sourly. Castiel sighed and got out of Jimmy's grasp, bending down to get Balthazar and got him into a standing position before throwing him over his shoulder.

"How are we related?" Jimmy deadpanned.

"You and Gabriel are cousins. I don't know either of you," Castiel said.

* * *

><p>"Why does my head hurt?" Balthazar frowned, coming back into consciousness. "… I feel like I've gone ten rounds with a truck."<p>

"That'd be a combination of you getting punched and drunk," Jimmy informed him dutifully.

"Oh god, it's you," Balthazar frowned and then he groaned. "Don't shout at me." Jimmy raised an eyebrow.

"I'm not," he said.

"Ugh… where's Cas?" Balthazar asked.

"Cas is at work," Jimmy said. "Want to listen?" Without waiting for an answer, he turned on the radio, already programmed on Castiel's channel. Balthazar groaned as he heard the static and then Castiel's voice as the static cleared itself up.

* * *

><p>"<em>Fate has a funny way about her. I'm sure you've heard of the saying Fate strikes when you least expect it. Yes, that is the correct expression. I had one of the interns check, that's what they're here for after all. Anyways, I went to a bar with my brother and my best friend. Fate decided to strike. <em>

"_Remember when I said don't meet your one night stand again? Well, I met him again. In a bathroom, at the bar. I gave him my number and went back to my brother and best friend. Said best friend decided to _drag _me over to my one night stand's _brother _and _kiss_ him. His line? He was drunk,"_

* * *

><p>"He says that like it's a bad thing," Balthazar smirked. Jimmy responded by turning up the volume, making Balthazar try and bury his head in a pillow.<p>

* * *

><p><em>My cousin just happened to… be out with the brother and punched my best friend,"<em>

* * *

><p>"I got punched by Gabriel?" Balthazar frowned.<p>

"You'll be walking around with a black eye for awhile. Gabriel may be small but he punches hard," Jimmy smirked.

"This is why you're not my favorite twin," Balthazar said.

"This is why you're not my best friend," Jimmy said.

"Your bedside manner sucks," Balthazar huffed.

"And Cas's is any better?" Jimmy asked dryly.

* * *

><p>"<em>Oh, and I just got a text… I think I got a text," Castiel said. <em>Jimmy and Balthazar rolled their eyes. _"My car is ready. I have to go meet my one night stand in a few hours. Fate, radio listeners, is a cruel mistress."_

* * *

><p>"<em>Hey, you're on the air with Dean Winchester. So last night I went to a bar with my brother so he could meet his client- he's not a stripper but anyone who calls his phone and asks him to do some kinky shit, I'll give them ten bucks- and I've known the bartender since she was in diapers. Hey, don't look at me like you want to kill me, Jo- okay, okay, training bras! She was in training bras- oh, fine, she's my assistant here. Just don't punch me again…<em>

"_Anyways, I'm at her mom's bar and I go to the bathroom. I run into my one night stand. Again. Come on, I don't believe in fate and destiny and all that crap but I have to meet the guy. Again. So this time, we plan to avoid meeting by fate and he gives me his number. I think it's all good and I go back out. I'm feeling good, got a hot dude's number, I'm feeling pretty damn fine. I have myself a few beers and then the next thing I know is the dude's friend is kissing my brother and he's shoved my one night stand into my arms, like I'm some kind of knight in shining armor- dude's got a tight ass, in case you're interested. _

"_So my brother's midget client gets pissed off and decides to be my brother's knight in shining armor and punches my one night stand's friend, who was already pretty drunk. So when you punch a drunk guy, he usually goes into la la land which is what happened. My brother's got game, well he'd better, since he's _my_ brother."_

"_Then the dude's _twin brother_ came over and revealed my brother's client is their cousin. Then my one night stand denied being related to the midget in a way that you pretend not to know a person when they do something embarrassing. Hey, if you'd met the midget you'd be denying you knew him too. The poor guy's related to him._

"_Oh, then my one night pulls a freaking Clark Kent and throws his best friend over his shoulder and walks just fine, as if he hadn't been drinking a- Jo what was he drinking? Sex on the beach. Right. Why's my phone ringing? I- aw, crap. I have to meet him today because he has to pick up his car._

"_Fate's a bitch," _


	12. Chapter 12

Sorry about the long wait! I just started school and so much has happened! Then I got a little writer's block and then my friend stood me up (didn't do the ending of this chapter, thankfully) and I'm telling you this because you can thank my friend for this chapter… inspiration.

Voting closed. Since the votes are so close together, I'm just going to do two chapters at the ending (possibly, I reserve the right to change this), well, epilogues, in one ending, Sam will end up with Balthazar and in the other, with Gabriel.

If you ever get writer's block, try writing about Balthazar. That's what works for me.

Disclaimer: I don't own Supernatural or Celine Dion's My Heart Will Go On.

* * *

><p>"Mr. Novak, you're sister's calling. She says it's important," one of the radio interns said.<p>

"Alright, radio listeners. We're going to take a short break. Enjoy this music," Castiel said before going out of the booth. "Amelia? Is everything okay?"

"Jimmy fell, Cas. He's fine, we're at the hospital, but I just thought-"

"Fell? Fell how?" Castiel demanded, grabbing his trench coat and trying to gather all his things at the same time. "What hospital?"

* * *

><p>"Hey, Cas, it's Dean… look, you're car's been ready for you to pick up for like, fifteen minutes, so… just in case you forgot." wow, that voicemail sounded like crap. Dean hung up his phone, rubbing the back of his neck.<p>

Dean wasn't too happy. He glanced at the clock. Castiel was… eighteen minutes late. There was probably traffic. He was supposed to see Castiel, and despite the awkwardness that would bring, some part of him (kept hidden from Sam) was looking forward to it.

People rarely forgot to pick up their cars. Maybe Castiel was in some pretty bad traffic? Maybe he had forgotten? Maybe something had come up? Maybe he couldn't get a ride?

He wasn't answering his phone.

The possibilities swamped over Dean endlessly, to the point where he was glancing more at the clock than the engine he was working on.

Bobby walked by and then did a double take, frowning.

"Boy, what're you still doing here? You were supposed to be gone half an hour ago," Bobby frowned.

"Guess I got stood up," Dean said.

* * *

><p>As luck would have it, Fate wasn't that cruel of a mistress, if that could be what it was called, Balthazar thought wryly as he watched Castiel fret over Jimmy without knowing what "fretting" was.<p>

"Stop worrying, Cas," Jimmy said.

"I'm not," Castiel said.

"Yes you are,"

"No I'm not,"

"Well then stop fretting,"

"I am not fretting," Castiel huffed, finishing swapping Jimmy's flat pillows for fluffier ones.

"Yes, love, you are," Balthazar said, snatching away the pillows from Castiel. "Now stop worrying so much and go make food. He only sprained his ankle, it's not the end of the world." Castiel glared at him, as if to say, yes, the apocalypse is upon us, it _is_ the end of the world.

"Weren't you supposed to have a date with that mechanic today?" Balthazar asked. A blank look crossed over Castiel's face and Jimmy just looked confused. "To pick up your car?" A look of panic crossed Castiel's face and he rushed to grab his trench coat and keys. Balthazar looked amused as Castiel practically ran out of the house.

"He does realize you're going to have to drive him, right?" Jimmy drawled.

"I suspect he'll get to the end of the block before he realizes," Balthazar said.

"It's not like him to not realize things like this," Jimmy frowned.

"Don't you start fretting over your twin too. One fretting twin is more than enough," Balthazar frowned. "Besides, he's head over heels for that mechanic in case you couldn't tell and worried about you. The poor boy's probably never even had a crush before."

Jimmy and Balthazar watched as Castiel came back inside, looking sheepish- well, as sheepish as Castiel could manage.

"Balthazar…"

"Just call him and tell him you'll stop by later, Cas," Jimmy rolled his eyes.

Jimmy watched Balthazar watch his twin as Castiel walked out of the room to get the house phone to make the call. Sighing, he shook his head. Balthazar turned to him with a raised eyebrow.

"What?" Balthazar asked, trying to look innocent. Jimmy rolled his eyes.

"You're just as bad a liar as Cas," Jimmy said.

"I have no idea what you're talking about," Balthazar said.

"Right," Jimmy said.

Balthazar didn't answer but gave Castiel and Jimmy his farewell when Castiel came back in the room, not looking at Jimmy look as he left.

"…he answer?"

"He said…" Balthazar closed the door and headed to his car, briefly wondering if he should buy a motorcycle before dismissing the notion on the fact that Jimmy and Amelia would nag him about safety and Castiel would give him the look that said, "as long as you're not stupid" and Balthazar would have to return the bike anyways.

But he had missed that Harley…

_"Well after you pulled that disappearing act on me for seven months, I deserve to get favors from you," Castiel said._

But then again, he had come back because he missed Castiel more.

* * *

><p>"<em>A motorcycle? You bought a motorcycle?" Jimmy asked, arm around his eight months pregnant wife as they sat around the table. <em>

"_You're going to get yourself killed," Castiel said bluntly in his monotone voice. _

"_Do you want a big funeral or small?" Jimmy asked._

"_Oh, are you worried about me, Cassie?" Balthazar asked. "Big, of course, Jimmy, don't be stupid. How can I invite everyone who would miss me to a small funeral?"_

"_No," Castiel said, twirling his fork in spaghetti. "And don't call me Cassie."_

"_Of course you would," Balthazar said. Castiel rolled his eyes but didn't object._

"_You should get a safer car, Balthazar," Jimmy said._

"_Who's going to be the father again?" Balthazar asked, rolling his eyes. "You two have no sense of fun. I tried beating it into you both, but look at how I failed. I'm so sorry Amelia. But you should have seen Cas before I got to him-"_

_He rambled on for as long as they let him, each interjecting at different times, like when Castiel said that Balthazar wasn't in love with him or when Jimmy pretended to call someone to plan Balthazar's funeral, or when Amelia accepted Balthazar's arm as they went to order more food._

* * *

><p><em>Balthazar had been part of a rich family, he knew that he was entitled. He knew that the reason he was able to live his lifestyle was because he was born into it, well adopted into it. His uncle and aunt had taken him in once his father had left and his mother had died during childbirth. Well, he knew but never fully grasped that concept until Castiel stepped into the picture. The Novaks weren't poor, but they certainly weren't rich or even part of the upper middle class. <em>

_And Castiel had no problem telling him about his bullshit (mostly because he couldn't understand the concept of "being rude") and Jimmy had no problem backing his twin up or putting Balthazar in his place when he felt something went over Castiel's head._

_In short, the Novaks weren't going to put up with him just because he had money._

_So Balthazar stuck around._

* * *

><p><em>"So… I'm gay," Balthazar said nonchalantly to Castiel who was sitting on the other chair as they watched television. Castiel looked at his friend, eyebrow raised- a look he had most certainly gotten from Jimmy.<em>

_"And?" Castiel asked._

_"And what?" Balthazar said. "That's it? No awkward looking around and trying to go away? Distance yourself?" Castiel let out a huff._

_"Balthazar, I knew you were gay already," Castiel said._

_"And you don't care?" Balthazar asked._

_"Don't ask stupid questions. A grandma could tell you were gay from three blocks away," Jimmy said, walking in and hitting Balthazar on the back of the head. "Of course we don't care. Cas is gay too, you know."_

_"Shouldn't he have told me that?" Balthazar asked._

_"Cas?" Jimmy asked._

_"I'm gay," Castiel said bluntly._

_"Oh… well alright then," Balthazar said. _

* * *

><p>"<em>You… want me to marry her?" Balthazar asked, in complete disbelief. He couldn't recall one time he had been shocked into silence. Not one. He had never been at a loss for words.<em>

_But he was now._

_Staring at the picture of the lovely redheaded Anna Milton, he was genuinely at a loss for words._

"_We want the companies to merge," his uncle said. "You two will marry and our companies will be joined. Do you understand me, Balthazar? You can't screw this up. You two seem to get along quite well at-"_

_He didn't bother giving his father a chance to finish explaining. He turned on his heel and walked out, slamming the door behind himself._

_But that wouldn't really be him, would it?_

_As soon as he slammed the door, he turned around and reopened the door, walking right back up to his baffled uncle._

"_You want me to marry some girl because of the damned company? Money isn't everything, you know. It just makes life better. What do I look like to you? Some Ivy League rich boy who listens and obeys his father's every whim? Do I look like the type who just bends over and- well, I do do that on occasion- but the point is, I am not going to trick that poor girl into thinking I love her and get married to her so you can have a damned merger," Balthazar said and then he stormed out…_

_And then stormed back in again._

"_Love can touch us one time and last for a lifetime* and I will not do that to that poor girl- and oh my god, I just quoted that destitute lounge singer…" Balthazar said, stumbling out of the room as if he were drunk._

_He was nothing if not theatrical, which was why he went back to his apartment, threw things into a bag, and paid the biker downstairs a ridiculous amount of cash for his bike._

_It had been the best, most ridiculously high amount of money he'd ever spent._

_At least until he got in the accident._

* * *

><p><em>*lyrics are Celine Dion's My Heart Will Go On<em>


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